I’ve been feeling a strong calling to launch my new brand with a post that allows me to build a deeper, more open and honest relationship with you. I want to share with you where I was within myself when Conscious Divas started as well as a huge epiphany I recently had about an area of my life that has been incongruent. I want to open my heart a little wider so that you can get to know me more intimately, even if that’s sometimes hard for me (all of us) to do.
I’m not sure how long you’ve been connected with Conscious Divas but I know from the outside it can sometimes appear like others people’s lives and businesses are perfect and you are the only one struggling. I want you to know that is SO not true. In the early days of Conscious Divas I worked what felt like a billion hours, made next to no money and wanted to throw in the towel many times.
(Thank goodness I never did!)
It was only after too many months of over thinking, driving myself crazy with my perfectionist tendencies and a ton of fear around failure that Conscious Divas launched. I was relieved for a minute… and then instantly had a whole new list of overwhelming realizations. I had launched a business with absolutely no contacts in the personal growth industry or local business community.
At that time I actually had no idea that building relationships was a fundamental life skill. I was completely uncomfortable connecting with people I didn’t know. I came from a blue-collar family who taught me “to be successful you need to work hard”. I heard nothing about building relationships or opening my heart.
In the first year of business I remember many conversations with my husband Sukhi where I would come home from an event feeling deflated, being so hard on myself and telling him that I was horrible at connecting and building relationships with people I didn’t know. He listened for months and then finally asked me “when are you going to stop telling yourself that story and create a new one?”
I remember that pivotal moment when I finally got tired of my own story, decided to embrace the uncomfortable and committed to building relationships to grow my business. I attended many networking events, set up meetings with people I didn’t know and calls with people from all over North America.
Did they always flow beautifully? No. Were they uncomfortable sometimes? Yes.
The more confident and certain I got the more beautiful and powerful my connections became but if I hadn’t taken the risk I would have never gained the certainty for the flow to happen.
And to be honest if you put me in a room today with a bunch of people I don’t know I am still quieter than others. I am an introvert. I certainly engage and have no problem creating a connection but it’s not my favorite thing to do. I do love meaningful one on one connections though.
On many levels I believe we teach what we need to learn the most. I focused on connection, confidence and self-love; it resulted in amazing conversations, beautiful friendships and a thriving community.
While spending most of 2014 in a state of healing and reflection I uncovered a new area of incongruence which can also been seen as a new area of expansion. Over the past 4.5 years the entire vision for Conscious Divas was to build a space or platform for people to grow and step into their full potential; to shine their light and spread their message.
Every time I created an initiative or an event I would run through a checklist of how this was supporting others in shining their light. I would have the vision, invite the speakers, attract the audience and execute the event.
I would always be thinking about how it would serve the other person, how I could make it worth their time. I would have dialogue about not wanting to over step boundaries in asking for support and I would never think about how I could personally leverage the success and share my message to the community I had built.
It wasn’t until I started working with my business coach at the end of 2013 that I started to see how I was hiding behind the success of my business.
I was creating a space for others to be vulnerable and shine their light but I wasn’t following through with this myself. Speaking my truth, creating products, workshops and events where I am the teacher has been something I’ve wanted to do for a longtime but it was too scary. I dabbled a bit at the beginning of 2014 and then retreated. I spent hours refining a program that was packed with value, practiced a heart centered offering that I would deliver from the stage and then backed out last minute. I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable. The voice in my head that tries to keep me small won that night. The fear of people being turned off by me selling something was greater than my willingness to be vulnerable and my certainty around my value.
But here I am now, finally ready to own the vision of Conscious Divas by SHINING MY OWN LIGHT.
I am nervous.
I am also excited and SUPER ready.
I have a BIG mission to positively impact the lives of women like you (especially moms and momprenuers); and it can’t wait any longer.
I’m managing my fear and pushing forward.