4 Ways to Manage Your Fears So They Don’t Manage You

Benjamin Spock

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do” – Benjamin Spock

Imagine the magic that could be created if you embodied this quote.
Imagine what you would create if you had an unwavering belief in yourself.

I use to tell myself when I took this course, got that certificate, had a really professional website  THEN I would have unwavering belief in myself and no fears would stop me from stepping up and shining my light.

I have checked all those boxes plus more much and guess what? I still experience debilitating fear and doubt.

For the last couple of months I’ve been planning Being Woman with my good friend Lara Kozan and every time I talked about the event I would get excited, my heart would expand and every cell in my body was a BIG yes. I know speaking, serving and igniting women is my soul’s purpose.

But it doesn’t matter how much clarity you have in one moment because in the next moment your fears can take a hold of that joy and try to keep you small. Especially when you are stepping into a new expansive space. The ego loves to keep you small.

As I was writing the content for Being Woman I would go from moments of flow to paralyzing thoughts like “do you even know what you are talking about” and “none of what you are sharing makes sense” or “none of this is going to be of any value”. I would start to believe them, feel deflated, want to rip up everything I’d written and questioned why I was even doing this.

(In the book The Big Leap – Gay Hendricks refers to this as Upper Limiting)

Good thing the workshop was already scheduled and people were registered because no matter how loud that voice was there was no way I was going to back down. I had to get a grip of those fears, feel them and move through them.

In the past my fears would have got the best of me before even committing to the workshop. I would have over analysed the fact that I had to create my share of 8 hours of content, my fears would have got a hold of that and said “who do you think you are?” you’ve never spoken for longer than 45 minutes, you won’t be able to do that.”

I realize now that fear and doubt don’t go away. The secret is in learning to manage your fears so they don’t manage you. And knowing the gift of expansion, growth and success is on the other side of the fear.

4 Steps To Shift Fear And Drop Into Trust

Below are some methods I have used to shift the fear funk and surrender myself into trusting:

  • Give yourself space. Sometimes that means a little temper tantrum or a pitty party for one and then reel it back in before it gets out of control.
  • Shake things up.  Take a break from whatever you’re working on and literally shake things up. Turn on the music, have a little dance party, open up the windows to get some fresh air flowing. Go outside and  walk in the grass. This break can be minutes or hours – trust yourself you will know what you need.
  • Connect with your vision. Why are you doing what you’re doing? How is what you’re doing being of service to others and making an impact on your personal why? Reflect on your purpose and intentions.
  • Take some time to reconnect. What are the tools you know that reconnect you to with your intuition? Meditate, do some breathing, ask for help from your guides, read a passage or page from book that inspires you.

Two days before the event I still wasn’t exactly sure where I was going to go with the content. I had the entire day of notes mapped out but I wasn’t feeling it. I finally said “This is out of my hands. I need to go with what is here. I have nothing else. I trust it will all work out.

The next morning I woke up with more trust in myself and the clarity followed the trust. I saw the connection between the stories and the points I wanted to make in a way that I wasn’t able to see before that moment.

When you trust yourself and choose to hold the space for what is possible each day you have no idea of the magic that will unfold on the stage of your life.

I would love to hear in the comments below how applying these tools helps you or additional tools you use to manage fear. If you enjoyed this post you can subscribe below to have any goodness I post arrive in your inbox.

Much Love,


5 thoughts on “4 Ways to Manage Your Fears So They Don’t Manage You

  1. Penny Paige

    God is working on my heart in this area right now. I’m going to be speaking on this in a few weeks. And as i was preparing the message trying to figure out how can i do this without exposing too much of myself. The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said the way I was thinking were not my thoughts they were the enemy’s thoughts of me and he sees me as perfect holy and blessed. It set me free from all fear. Yes fear presents itself but I just kick it to the curb now and keep on moving. Love you and Thx for sharing.

  2. Taslim Jaffer

    Thank you for writing this, Kate! It’s always refreshing to know I am not alone in the fears that block me…just as I decide to take a leap! I love all 4 tips you mention; connecting with your vision hits home the most to me right now. Remembering ‘why’ and making this experience about the people I am serving (and not about me) really helps me stay on track.
    I’m sorry to have missed out on Being Woman! Would love to attend another one!

  3. Jennifer Wilson

    Hi Kate,
    Great post! I too am learning how to push my fears aside and run toward my dreams with an open heart. It is amazing how the mind works and how something as untangible as fear can stop you dead in your tracks and prevent you from fulfilling your dreams and desires.
    Point 4 resonated with me most. I have really been making an effort to reconnect with myself and nature. Taking 30 minutes each day to spend in and observing nature has really helped me. I am more grounded, have a stronger center and a happier heart. I feel more connected to my surroundings and just feel more confident overall.

    Thank you for the wonderful reminder that we ALL struggle with fear and that we are not alone.
    J XO

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