Kate Muker: How to use Vulnerability for Personal Growth

I’ve been feeling a strong calling to launch my new brand with a post that allows me to build a deeper, more open and honest relationship with you. I want to share with you where I was within myself when Conscious Divas started as well as a huge epiphany I recently had about an area of my life that has been incongruent. I want to open my heart a little wider so that you can get to know me more intimately, even if that’s sometimes hard for me (all of us) to do.

I’m not sure how long you’ve been connected with Conscious Divas but I know from the outside it can sometimes appear like others people’s lives and businesses are perfect and you are the only one struggling. I want you to know that is SO not true. In the early days of Conscious Divas I worked what felt like a billion hours, made next to no money and wanted to throw in the towel many times.

(Thank goodness I never did!)

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It was only after too many months of over thinking, driving myself crazy with my perfectionist tendencies and a ton of fear around failure that Conscious Divas launched. I was relieved for a minute… and then instantly had a whole new list of overwhelming realizations. I had launched a business with absolutely no contacts in the personal growth industry or local business community.

At that time I actually had no idea that building relationships was a fundamental life skill. I was completely uncomfortable connecting with people I didn’t know. I came from a blue-collar family who taught me “to be successful you need to work hard”. I heard nothing about building relationships or opening my heart.

In the first year of business I remember many conversations with my husband Sukhi where I would come home from an event feeling deflated, being so hard on myself and telling him that I was horrible at connecting and building relationships with people I didn’t know. He listened for months and then finally asked me “when are you going to stop telling yourself that story and create a new one?”

I remember that pivotal moment when I finally got tired of my own story, decided to embrace the uncomfortable and committed to building relationships to grow my business. I attended many networking events, set up meetings with people I didn’t know and calls with people from all over North America.

Did they always flow beautifully? No. Were they uncomfortable sometimes? Yes.

The more confident and certain I got the more beautiful and powerful my connections became but if I hadn’t taken the risk I would have never gained the certainty for the flow to happen.

And to be honest if you put me in a room today with a bunch of people I don’t know I am still quieter than others. I am an introvert. I certainly engage and have no problem creating a connection but it’s not my favorite thing to do. I do love meaningful one on one connections though.

On many levels I believe we teach what we need to learn the most. I focused on connection, confidence and self-love; it resulted in amazing conversations, beautiful friendships and a thriving community.

While spending most of 2014 in a state of healing and reflection I uncovered a new area of incongruence which can also been seen as a new area of expansion. Over the past 4.5 years the entire vision for Conscious Divas was to build a space or platform for people to grow and step into their full potential; to shine their light and spread their message.

Every time I created an initiative or an event I would run through a checklist of how this was supporting others in shining their light. I would have the vision, invite the speakers, attract the audience and execute the event.

I would always be thinking about how it would serve the other person, how I could make it worth their time. I would have dialogue about not wanting to over step boundaries in asking for support and I would never think about how I could personally leverage the success and share my message to the community I had built.

It wasn’t until I started working with my business coach at the end of 2013 that I started to see how I was hiding behind the success of my business.

©vairdy_photography_2015_3184I was creating a space for others to be vulnerable and shine their light but I wasn’t following through with this myself. Speaking my truth, creating products, workshops and events where I am the teacher has been something I’ve wanted to do for a longtime but it was too scary. I dabbled a bit at the beginning of 2014 and then retreated. I spent hours refining a program that was packed with value, practiced a heart centered offering that I would deliver from the stage and then backed out last minute. I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable. The voice in my head that tries to keep me small won that night. The fear of people being turned off by me selling something was greater than my willingness to be vulnerable and my certainty around my value.

But here I am now, finally ready to own the vision of Conscious Divas by SHINING MY OWN LIGHT.

I am nervous.

I am also excited and SUPER ready.

I have a BIG mission to positively impact the lives of women like you (especially moms and momprenuers); and it can’t wait any longer.

I’m managing my fear and pushing forward.

Join me.

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21 thoughts on “Kate Muker: How to use Vulnerability for Personal Growth

  1. Scarlett

    My friend Diane Taylor just mentioned that she spoke with you yesterday, and today I wrote a post about vulnerability as strength.
    I think that we should meet sometime!
    It seems to be pointing that way.
    Great post BTW.
    Scarlett

    1. Kate Muker

      Scarlett – so nice to meet you virtually. I don’t believe in accidents and love the synchronicities of life. I took a quick look at your beautiful site and I love that you are following your heart by combining all the things you love and SHINING your light. I’d love to connect. xo

    1. Kate Muker

      Shirley…virtual love received with warmth and big smile. I wouldn’t be able to be me without women like you holding and creating such a welcoming space. I look forward to more than virtual connections in the near future. xo

  2. Crystal - Prenatal Coach

    Oh Kate, thanks for sharing your journey! I know we’ve lost touch over the busy mamahood years but it’s so interesting to note we are on a similar journey right now!

    I’ve done a really great job of helping to create an amazing brand for Hypnobabies and now I’m stepping out from behind that safe cover to create my OWN thing. Brand ME and my uniqueness and my own services.

    In beautiful serendipity my new website just launched today <3 <3 You rock and I look forward to following your journey!

    1. Kate Muker

      Crystal, I love how even though we are out of touch we are still in touch through our parallel journeys. I checked out your new website, it’s gorgeous. You have so much wisdom and knowledge to share with women, what a gift that you are ready to share it. I am excited to be witness to you Owning your Brilliance! xo

    1. Kate Muker

      Thanks beautiful!! I love that the world is calling each of us to be of service and shine bright.
      Your light is creating a ripple effect of transformation. It’s pleasure to observe.
      xo

  3. Diane

    Kate – I am SO excited for you as you embrace this new chapter! I loved the courage you showed in your About Me page. I know it will serve as a true inspiration to others. You are truly a GLOW GIRL!

    Cheers to success at the next level! You are such a shining light for Indira.

    Diane

    1. Kate Muker

      Thank you Sydney! I am really excited about the next chapter it feels very expansive and well received. What a gift to be surrounded by so many fabulous souls like yourself. Looking forward to hearing more about your upcoming nourishing retreats. xx

  4. Sandra Garcia

    This resonates so much with a thought I had today after having a deep, meaningful conversation with two women at a networking event today. I remember a few years ago showing up at a Conscious Divas event (in the safest space possible for women – Lunapads!) and telling people I was good. Inside, I was not good. Business was at a low, and I felt horrible. Years later, I attribute Conscious Divas and bold people like you and with the women I spoke with today about how awesome it is to just speak truth. Yes, business is at a low, but I am being real with that and getting support for it on all levels. It’s amazing what that truth does to build community, and you’re living proof of that! xo Sandra

    1. Kate Muker

      Sandra you are always so kind and generous when you share about your experience with Conscious Divas. It truly warms my heart every time, over and over again. The success of everything I’ve created is attributed to the woman like yourself showing up and being vulnerable and open. I acknowledge you for showing others that vulnerability and truth is fundamental to success in both life and business. Grateful to know you. Kate

  5. Cherrie

    Thanks for vulnerably sharing your story Kate! Gives me hope that as a fellow introvert who much prefers intimate + deep one-on-one connections I will someday be able to inspire others and serve like you do.

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